Worthless

worth·less [wurth-lis] –adjective
without worth; of no use, importance, or value; good-for-nothing

In my small group last week, we were talking about our week... and one girl in my group was extremely angry because she was called "worthless". I sat there listening to her, trying to empathize with her, trying to feel if I would feel... anything at all. If I was to be called worthless, I would react right? I would be just as angry as she was, right? And I felt... nothing.

I then sat there wondering why. If someone was to call ANY of my friends/family worthless, I would be infuriated. In fact, I was upset that someone had called the girl worthless- but I still couldn't empathize with her.

Something in me resonated enough to know that the feeling of nothingness when being called worthless is probably the wrong reaction. I realized over the last couple of days, that I've been called worthless multiple times in my life... too many to count in fact. It's a norm now, to be called worthless. I've become numb to the idea of it and for the first time in my life, I had an inkling that it may not be God's view of me. Luke 12:7 says "And he pays even greater attention to you, down to the last detail—even numbering the hairs on your head! So don’t be intimidated by all this bully talk. You’re worth more than a million canaries." Good to know... worth more than the birds. Okay, I can deal...

But digging further, I realize (with the help of wonderful others) that I am made in His image... and that "He chose us in Him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in His sight." Ephesians 1:4. That's pretty stinkin' awesome. Even more awesome, Ephesians 1:7-8 continues to say that "In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace that He lavished on us with all wisdom and understanding." If I'm made in His image, then I'm not so worthless, am I?

If I told you that I think of myself as someone full of worth after all of this, then I'd be lying. It's just the beginning of a long journey ahead. For the time being, I'm going to rejoice in the moment of feeling... something, when being called worthless. Baby steps.